this, right here, is the shit.

4 classes in a row, and I’m already sliding right back into my practice. There were so many things I worried I’d forgotten, so many places of strength I didn’t think I’d be able to find, but they are all still there for me. Often my mind can’t follow the cues, but my body can, and before I even realize it, I’m there. 

I had the good fortune today of slipping (late) into a class with a teacher who I hadn’t practiced with in a while, and though the last time I took his class (a year ago) was solid, today he blew my mind. As I settled into the vibe of the class I felt that growing recognition that every cue, every beat of the music, every transition was exactly where I wanted it to be, before I even knew what I wanted and I found myself bouncing in and out of poses, grooving while I was in them and intuitively moving on to the next. This was the kind of yoga, I thought, that people who live elsewhere assume that Boulder yogis do all the time, and while we are lucky to have some of the most amazing and inspired folks who teach and practice here, it is a rare gem of a class when everything is aligned and it all comes together for you in that perfect hour of pure flow. “This,” I said to myself, out loud, “is the shit.”

full circle, indeed

I am back on the mat with a vengeance, almost a year to the day since I last put toe to Manduka with any kind of serious intention, and I can’t begin to describe how good it feels to be back in the push and pull of my practice. For now, my mind is not so much exploring the fallout of the last year, but enjoying the space that I create with each breath. I am in. the. moment. And I am my yoga for that hour each day. And it is lovely. 

full circle

There are things that we carry with us, reminders of the people we have known and loved, places we have been, things that we have done. These things can be physical, emotional or even energetic tokens of our past, and they stay with us to keep the lessons that we have learned present in our hearts. Like the seasons, they fall away when their time comes, sometimes with no warning, sometimes without our noticing, but either way we are left with room to carry more relevant souvenirs with us as we continue on the path.

I’ve gotten tattoos to remind me to love and stay present, universal messages that can always bear repeating. I wear certain jewelry to keep family members, friends and loves close. I am a big fan of talismans to protect, to support, to bring peace in times of stress. At the end of my 108 day practice last year, I bought a mala to celebrate my accomplishment. It seemed appropriate – 108 beads for my 108 days. I didn’t know at the time that I would be leaving Raleigh soon after, and the necklace would come to mean so much more to me. I’ve worn it everyday for the last year to remind me of my amazing teachers who taught me to love yoga, to remind me of the yoga that taught me to love myself, and to remind me of the self that is always there waiting to be loved. Things changed for me in a remarkable way as I moved through my mala, and I’m so glad that I chose to acknowledge that shift in my life.

I felt another shift begin to take shape last weekend as I saw the yoga that I do on my mat begin to catch up to the yoga that I feel in my heart. I could tell that I was stepping into a new progression of my life and was excited to have the opportunity to practice with Shiva Rea at a time when my practice felt so energized. Again, I felt it important to acknowledge the change and purchased a new mala. I felt so complete walking around with my teachers and my practices old and new wrapped securely around me…

…and then my first mala broke. Though I was concerned as to the meaning of this (no doubt) significant event, my teachers have assured me that it is a good thing, completing a cycle. All of the karma associated with that strand, the meaning it held for me, has come full circle. The timing seems especially appropriate given that I had already felt myself moving into a new cycle, and cements my belief that we are given what we need right when we need it, sometimes before.

This whole sequence of events seems so in time with the rhythm of my life right now and further confirms that I’m right when I’m supposed to be.

Onward!