on the mat is a state of mind
whoa. my yoga class tonight absolutely blew. my. mind.
my mind is blown.
like, blown up. my mind is… blown up.
ok. so I went to yoga. I took my friend Steven. We had a yoga date. That kind of made me nervous bc I like feeling anonymous. I left my dog at his house, that also made me nervous. And I am kind of running out of money. Also = nervous.
But I went.
There were too many people there. I think that I wasn’t super excited about the class at first. I can’t really even remember that far back. At one point I remember becoming very aware of the pose we were in, not because I was uncomfortable, but just because it was the only thing I was aware of. As far as I knew, I may have only ever done that pose. That may have been the only thing I had ever done. For all I knew, that moment was my whole life’s purpose. It was mind blowing. (did I mention it blew my mind?)
So at that point, I was high as a ^(*&%&^%(^ing kite. (I didn’t even try to make that a word – I also have no words apparently). I was ready to given them my credit card and just go ahead and pay off a year of yoga (to the tune of $925); I was clearly out of my mind.
But as class wound down, I got into some pretty deep stretches, and was surprised at how far I was able to go. When it was over, I felt so amazing. I felt happy and calm and, most importantly,I had realized that I am enough. To make me happy, to be successful, to keep me entertained.
I am enough.
I saw everything that I am, everything I have been and a glimpse of what I may be. It is enough. I don’t need anyone to validate me or make me feel whole. I have everything I need to be everything I need to be. It is so comforting and freeing. It blows my mind.
The buzz slowly wore off. When we left, Steven and I were ready to quit our (pretty awesome self-employed) jobs and run away to costa rica to open a yoga retreat. It would be awesome in a very eatpraylove kinda way. By the time we got back to the house, we were more ‘oh-haha – we were totally going to quit our jobs to go do yoga. let’s eat.’
But the glow lingers…