the yoga love

on the mat is a state of mind

Friday Night Funk

What a week. What an end of a week. What a day. What a class.

I didn’t think I’d love speed flow to Thriller, but, you know what? I do. I SO DO.

My breathing is almost involuntary, my thoughts are on the out, my body is catching up. As things start to solidify for me on the mat I find myself wondering when I’m going to get there in real life. Tonight was good sweaty, nasty, really fun yoga – my form was crap, but my breath was on time and my heart wide open.

I look at where I am now compared to where I was this time last year. I was in school, things were structured but rote at that point, it was clean, but wearing on me. I’d made some good decisions and some poor ones and I was definitely flying by the seat of my pants. Now, things are deliberate, not always perfect, but always on purpose. Every day, every action is a step bringing me closer to my goals. Every class is a step closer to who I want to be. Every patient is a dollar closer to the independence I’ve been working towards. So my form is lacking, it’s messy but I am getting there.

As I sink in there is a part of me that wants to stay in my old self. Like a shudder as you fall asleep, it tries to keep me in the drama, keep me out of the flow, and I have to fight the urge to just do what is comfortable and familiar. I have to fight to stay focused and aware.

I am fighting. Every day. And as I get closer I’ll start to straighten up, tighten up and lock it up. I’ll have it together when the day comes.

This is who I am today: messy and sweaty. Today was a good day.

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This entry was posted on 10/31/2009 by in yogalove.

more downward dog, less downward spiral

Smile, be happy!

"Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it." — Elizabeth Gilbert

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