on the mat is a state of mind
I had high hopes for Restorative yesterday. Our teacher was lovely. The class was lovely. The poses were perfect. I was annoying. My monkey brain seemed determined to throw the top five most annoying thoughts possible at me for the entire hour. Well, there was one about Edward Cullen that was nice, but it was mostly ex-boyfriends, unpaid bills and the like. I am pretty good at staying centered and focused during class, tuning out the other people in the room, leaving my day at the door, but I just couldn’t do it. Everything I’d read, seen, heard, thought about, hadn’t thought about, hadn’t done was right there with me, the whole time. As much as I wanted to just hug my bolster in child’s pose and bliss out, I felt like my head was poking me the whole time like ‘hey! hey! hey! whatareyadoin whatareyadoin???’ OH MY GOD I’m trying to RESTORE would you please SHUT UP. Edgy.
Maybe I’m just tired. I’d thought that I’d be so much more grounded, that old things would settle instead of new things cropping up all over the place. But this is what it’s all about. The good and the bad. The blissful and the downright irritating.
It’s a YTT weekend at Blue Lotus and they’re installing a new heater at Open Door – so I’m s.o.l. for classes today, but I may head to Bikram, or I’ll go for a run and try the Shiva Rea dvd that my mom got me for Christmas. I could probably use some time at home. It’s important to remember to nurture ourselves, especially when the break neck pace & drive to accomplish and succeed are of our own doing.
I’m staying in it, going with the ups and downs. Yesterday was just a day. On the upside, I’m excited about my classes tomorrow and sunday – two solid open-levels, Mercury comes out of retro today and this coffee is delicious.
Onward & Upward!