on the mat is a state of mind
Whatever you’re doing, right now, this second: it’s enough. The amount of yoga I’ve been doing recently? Not as much as I’d anticipated given the goal of this project, but absolutely the perfect amount given everything else that’s going on in my life. The amount of energy I put out during class this morning? So much more than I’d thought possible given all the tweakiness in my back this week. We reach out and we pull back in. We give away and we receive. There is balance inherent in everything that we do, so long as we listen to the voice that tells us what we need.
When I set out to do 108 days of yoga, I thought I’d go to class everyday for the better part of four months. Needless to say, that hasn’t happened. I don’t even know how many days off I am… wait… let me count.
Ok. It’s been 47 days. I’ve done 28 classes. Um…not so good, but here’s the thing: I’ve been traveling, seeing friends, drinking a bit more than usual, definitely having more fun. I’ve been living my life, something I can’t honestly say that I’ve enjoyed since I left Colorado over a year ago. It’s nice to feel like myself again. This is the thing that I love about yoga – it gives you the tools to reshape your life, reshape your body, reshape your world view. You can take as much or as little of it to heart as you like. You can be a vegan, you can be a smoker, you can be a workaholic or unemployed, you get to decide when and how yoga fits into your life. Once you do that, once it’s there, you work with it, play with it, move it around. The flexibility (both physical and mental) I’ve gained from yoga has let me love running again for the first time, it has given me a level of comfort in and happiness with my body that I’ve never had before, it has given me the capacity to try new things, open up to new people and places, all the while knowing that I have a solid home base to come back to. I made time in my life for yoga, but every now and then I use that time for all the new things yoga has opened me up to.
Sometimes I need to miss class because my dog needs some face time with me; I need to go to the grocery store; I’m recuperating from a weekend out of town. Sometimes I have to make time for yoga because all of those things can wait. This is why I love vinyasa – it’s all about flow – you can change the order of the postures based on your mood or need, there is room for modification and adjustment, there are times when you just let loose and do what you feel – on the mat and in life.
If I learn nothing else from this 108 day experiment, I will have to learned to make room in my life for the things that are important to me, whether that’s yoga, work or relationships. There have been some tense moments when I realize that I’ve let go of something, but have yet to replace it with something else and I get a little uncomfortable, but that’s okay too. Hanging in the balance is part of the process. If I don’t manage to do 108 classes in 108 days, if all I learn is to stay grounded, in the moment, in the experience without thinking too much about the past or the future and really enjoy myself, then I will consider this project a win.