the yoga love

on the mat is a state of mind

&…

I’ve been sitting in the middle of my living room floor for hours, sorting through hoarder-like piles of design mags and Star Wars memorabilia, trying to decide what to keep and what to trash. There is a certain emptiness to letting go, especially when you don’t know what’s next. I find that I want to cling to the things that I’ve carried with me for comfort and familiarity in the face of great change and the unknown.

It could be as simple as throwing away an old t shirt (Phish tour ’94?), or as complicated as letting go of someone that I love , but when things and people that I’ve held close make their departure, they seem to create a vacuum that begs to be filled with something, anything, to make the emptiness go away. It’s the emptiness that gets me, that feeling that wants to reach out and grab the first thing I touch to fill the void. Just to make it stop.

Through yoga I am learning to breathe through that feeling, to remember the lesson of un-attachment, to let the experience wash over me and accept it for what it is, learn from it, move through it without looking to solve everything right away. If I can just give myself time to adjust, I will find the perfect thing to fill that new space and, until I do, it is not empty, but full of possibility.

That’s the thing about not knowing what’s next – it could be anything. That’s the thing about the flow, it keeps you guessing, it keeps things exciting, it guarantees that things will continue to move and that you will continue to grow. Knowing what’s coming limits your options and your ability to create your life. Knowing what’s coming stops you from asking ‘what if’ and reaching for bigger and better. Knowing is the opposite of dreaming, and I never want to stop dreaming.

Here’s to the blank page.

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One comment on “&…

  1. Sara
    02/16/2011

    I just read an article about how to let go of objects with memories. It was fascinating how the author realized that 4 beautiful rocks from her trip to a European beach reminded her of the vacation but also reminded her of the fight she had with her ex that day. She wanted the good memories to override the bad (hence why she had moved them across the country with her several times), but ultimately knew it was weighing her down. So instead of having guilt in tossing them out she sought out “their heaven”. A friend had created a wildflower garden in her backyard and she took them there to be enjoyed by knew owners and back to the earth. Likewise with the ashes of her cat that she had in a canister that she moved from city to city with her. She realized she had not let go of the ashes not because she loved the cat but she had guilt from not being there for the cat when she left her ex (and the cat behind). She took the ashes back to the house it grew up in, and with permission from the new owners, sprinkled them under a tree she had previously planted giving the cat “its heaven”.

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This entry was posted on 02/16/2011 by in life.

more downward dog, less downward spiral

Smile, be happy!

"Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it." — Elizabeth Gilbert

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