on the mat is a state of mind
As I look back on the last year since my teacher training ended, I see a vacuum that I tried desperately to fill with everything that I could think of save the thing that I needed most: space. A year ago, I thought I had it all figured out. I was going to shape the future. I was going make things happen. I was going to do it. Whatever that meant.
I learned, loved, worked, fought, cried, laughed and saw things that I never thought I’d see. And, as time moved on, I realized that each of these moments that I was working so hard to create had little to do with the one that came before it. I was holding on to individual things, people + experiences, but the lessons were passing me by. As I started to repeat my mistakes, I began to see. I had been here before. Every moment is a chance to start over, to do it differently, but you have to actually do it differently if anything’s going to change.
It is the same both on the mat and off. This practice is a special kind of alchemy. We are refined in the fire of our own breath, reborn through our own effort into each new moment. We are always in transition, between relationships, jobs, outfits, poses. Every time we are unprepared, every time we lose our balance, we must adjust and keep going. Shake it off. LET. IT. GO. We learn more. We move forward. The next time the question is asked, the move is made, the love is offered, we are closer to ready.
This year I’m letting go to make room for possibility. For creativity. For infinity. This year, I am going to live.