the yoga love

on the mat is a state of mind

Day 2/8: letting go

Given that this week is an excavation of sorts, I’m setting some goals, but also staying open to whatever comes up. I was hoping to write about letting go of false expectations and gratuitous emotional baggage, but that’s just not how things played out.

Skipping to the takeaway, what I felt was heartache that  took my breath away. I had a love that wasn’t rational (or functional), but it was honest. It was pure connection – just the magic that happens between two people sometimes, for better or worse. And while I thought the letting go came with the ambivalence I’d mastered months ago, I realized as I lay there feeling (acutely) the negative space in my heart – however full of possibility (barf) -that I was letting go by recognizing the loss.

I think as yogis we are very cavalier about “letting go,” as we try to skip straight to the ecstatic liberation that will surely follow –  but often we are really just saying  “I don’t give a shit” and hoping for a little relief from the pressure of caring so much. Tonight, I felt the difference.

Digging in, very aware of my expectations and making sure that I was setting my own standard, actively working toward the lofty goal of self-validation and trying to pay less attention to how Warrior II makes my butt look, it became so obvious where I’d been seeking affirmation from others and so unsurprising that I’d  found dead ends at every turn.

Here’s the lesson, Cates: you’re going to have to take care of this one yourself.


So in spite of the tears, I did in fact let go of what I wanted my practice to be  (all lessons and lightness) and owned up to what it is: sweaty, surprising and tough. I did the work, and I got somewhere even if it wasn’t as pretty as what I was hoping for. Yoga is messy and I am okay with that and lucky to have a studio where such realizations (and crying in savasana) are not only accepted, but encouraged.

How’s that for some EatPrayLove shit on Day 2?



One comment on “Day 2/8: letting go

  1. catie

    Reblogged this on yo..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


This entry was posted on 06/19/2012 by in life and tagged .

more downward dog, less downward spiral


Smile, be happy!

"Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it." — Elizabeth Gilbert

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 3 other followers


Error: Please make sure the Twitter account is public.

%d bloggers like this: